Leggings Are Not Pants

Say it after me ladies -

"Leggings are NOT pants."

"Jeggings are NOT jeans."

"Bike pants DO NOT hold the fat in.  White bike pants should be illegal."

No matter how cute you think your posterior is and should not be worn at the school drop off or while grocery shopping.

~ Unless of course you're pretending that you're on your way to the gym.  That's perfectly acceptable.  


Here's a quick guide if you're unsure whether you're wearing pants today.

Link up with IBOT

My Kids Are Mongrels

Random conversation with the husband this morning...

Him - "Are you purebred?"

Me - "What do you mean?"

"Are all your family Polish?"

"Yeah I think so...though I think we had one French lady in the 1900s."

"Ooh la la ~insert some lame attempt at french~ heh, heh I'm a mongrel."

"Well that's pretty obvious.  What countries?"

"Mum had German, English and on Dad's side there's Maori, Dalmatian..."

~ Snorts out coffee ~

"Dalmatian?!  Ba ha ha!  Kinky!  I thought they liked sheep in New Zealand."

"What?  No, the other Dalmatian.  You know how everyone travelled during the war, like from Delhi or something."

"No, you idiot.  Delhi is in India.  A Dalmatian is a spotty dog."

"Some other European country then.  Look, I'll show you."

Husband gets phone and starts googling.

"See Dobro Dosli - that's Dalmatian."

Me - hysterical with laughter because my husband is an utter idiot.

"A Dalmatian is a DOG!!!"

"You always think you're right!  Just wait a minute...I've found it!  It's..."

"What?" 

"It's...oh...Croatian."

"Not a Dalmatian then?"

"Er no."

Well thank goodness for that.  

Though a Dalmatian heritage would explain where the kids get their table manners from...and all the piddle puddles on the carpet.

Alvin, Simon And Theodore Babysit The Kids

This week the lovely folks at Splendid Communications sent me a copy of the latest Blu-ray Chipmunks movie Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked to review.

In this adventure, everyone's favourite chipmunks Alvin, Simon and Theodore joined by their female friends, the Chipettes, have the time of their lives when they set sail on a family vacation they'll never forget.

Sounds like I copied that straight from the press release?

I did.

Why?

I can't watch the movies.

The Chipmunks do my head in.  

But the kids love them.

LOVE THEM.

The little girls have the figurines and argue over which Chippette they are.

So I plonked them all down in front of the TV.

Side note - Ever tried to take a photo that makes 5 kids look normal all at the same time?  Mission Impossible.

For the past hour they've been laughing their heads off and singing along to the music.  

In this one The Chipmunks and Chippettes rock out to heaps of Lady GaGa songs like 'Bad Romance' and 'Born This Way' and LMFAO's 'Party Rock Anthem'.  

I admit I've been laughing at the cheesy jokes and bopping along while doing really important stuff on the internet.

From what I've heard, all The Chipmunks are traveling on a cruise ship, fall overboard, find themselves chipwrecked and need to survive without Dave.  What I love - it has kept all 5 of the Whoa Mumma kiddies amused for over an hour.  

That makes me give Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked a big thumbs up! 

Want Alvin, Simon and Theodore to babysit your little ones?

To celebrate the release of the DVD this week Splendid Communications has a fantastic Chipmunks prize pack for one lucky person.

To be in the running, you need to tell me the name of the actor who plays Dave (The Chipmunks poor Dad).  The winner of the prize pack will be chosen by random.org and announced on 8pm EST Sunday 3rd June 2012.

Get googling! 

PS.  If you're entering please make sure I can track you down through your profile on your comment.

So Remind Me Again...What's The Point Of A Husband?

The husband was home last night (which is rare as he's usually off dribbling on basketballs or whatever it is they do at Old Man Basketball) and I, being utterly exhausted and grateful to have another adult to share the mundane tasks of parenthood, asked him to put the little girls to bed.

An hour later, traumatized cries of a two year old covered in pee.

"Did you put a nappy on her?"

Suddenly absorbed by The Voice.  "Oh...er, I thought you didn't do them anymore."

This morning he remembered that the fridge and pantry were pretty bare, so he grabbed some groceries on the way home from the gym.

Spent about $50 on twenty items.  NONE of which go together to make a meal.

Now I know for a FACT that men feign stupidity to get out of doing things.

My husband is very good at it.

He knows if he does a half assed job at something to do with the kids or house, then I'll get so frustrated with him that I end up doing it myself to save time (and my sanity).

Stupidity = Get out of boring tasks free hall pass for men.

Sometimes I feel like I have another tall, fat, hairy, bald child.  He's even cheekily admitted that he knows it and he's never going to change.

So remind me again...what's the point of having a husband?

P.S. Husband - if you're reading this point and planning to pull the Oh but I go to work ALL day to pay the bills card - don't even try it.  

You sit in an office all day, sipping lattes from the coffee machine while playing Solitaire on the computer.  

That is a holiday.

Little Turds

Apparently, as responsible parents, we should monitor our language and how we speak to our children.

Sometimes the little shits take what we say a little too literally.

Today this little turd turns 11.

He'll probably kill me for putting this baby photo on the internet.

But whatever!  Embarrassing your children is one of the perks of motherhood.

Happy Birthday from your foul mouthed mumma!